Even as a Christian, nearly 30yrs ago, I went through a season of extreme spiritual and intellectual doubt. It was as if the heavens were bronze, as if closed. That in my attempt 
to think and talk with God, it felt as if my words and thoughts would only make it as high as this bronze ceiling; as if the God I was ostensibly worshipping was merely a projection of my own wants and wishes. But I came to realize—through God’s grace and persistence—that in fact the Heavens are always open; indeed, that the veil of the flesh of Christ’s body had been torn open. And in this great tearing, through the mediatorial vicarious and priestly humanity of Christ, the heavens were continuously open into the very throne room of God. Indeed, the heavens were (and are) full of God’s pleroma (fullness) for the world in Jesus Christ. I came to realize that the Greek word ἀνοίγω (open) used at the baptism of Christ, ‘as the heavens were opened’ meant that the heavens are continuously and presently open for all who will. I learned that God is truly and concretely for this world in Christ. I knew this as a child and my whole life leading to this season. But the Lord used the agony of spiritual attack and a feeling of a lack of confidence, to throw myself further upon His mercy as the One who raises the dead.